Scott Farrell comments:

When someone says “chivalry is dead,” they are usually lamenting the demise of things that were once thought of as “gentlemanly” behavior, like:

• Always paying for dinner;
• Holding the door for a lady, or;
• Walking on the street side of the sidewalk.

While it’s true that those (and other) points of etiquette were once ingrained into a gentleman’s sense of chivalry, expecting that sort of behavior from young men today under the guise of chivalry is a recipe for disappointment. After all, this is an age of chat rooms, not sitting parlors; of text messages, not hand-written greeting cards. Expecting today’s youth to abide by the conventions of yesterday’s chivalry is as unrealistic as expecting boys to wear top hats and girls to wear lace gloves and corsets. Yesterday’s chivalry just does not fit today’s culture.

But that does not mean the need for, or the intention behind chivalry is dead. Chivalry is nothing but the desire to be helpful, to express respect through deference, and to break out of the “it’s all about me” mode and see what you can do to help other people. As this survey of 3,000 women (originally reported by Britain’s Gulf News website) shows, there’s plenty of room for chivalry on the road of life — if you’re willing to shift gears and keep up with the times.

Old fashioned chivalry went out with corsets and button shoes, but a new survey shows there are still plenty of ways to be chivalrous today.

If you’re trying to impress a woman, don’t bother paying for dinner or holding open her car door. These days, it seems the mark of a gentleman is texting regularly and putting the rubbish out. A combination of hectic lifestyles and advancing technology have dramatically changed women’s perceptions of what constitutes a true gent, a study has found. Gone is the desire for a suitor who lays his coat over a puddle and pulls out his date’s chair.

In its place is a longing for a modern man who brings his lady a cup of tea in bed, nurses her through her hangovers and fills her car with petrol. Other gallant traditions which are falling by the wayside include walking on the side of the pavement closest to the road and carrying a woman’s bag for her.

Instead, an ability to cook and a sympathetic manner when it comes to PMT are now gentlemanly prerequisites. The survey of 3,000 women, carried out by clothing retailer Austin Reed, also found that a third attach no importance to traditional gestures of chivalry, such as men asking them to dance or requesting their hand in marriage.

A spokesman said: “The concept of being a gentleman isn’t dead, nor is it old fashioned. Being a gentleman is as applicable for our society today as it was in history and is about having respect for yourself and other members of your society.

“Charm, sensitivity, attentiveness, style and being well-groomed are key aspects that are seen as important and that we hope will continue in the future.”

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Little acts of kindness and consideration are deeply woven into our cultural fabric. Whether you call them “chivalry” or just good manners, things like holding a door, standing when you meet somebody or letting someone ahead of you in line are the sorts of actions that distinguish someone as a lady or gentleman “of good character.”

But in the debate over the place of chivalry in today’s world, there is a distinction that is often overlooked: What happens when an act of kindness becomes expected or obligatory? When chivalry is demanded of someone, is it really chivalry at all?

In a blog on the topic of chivalry in modern society, Ambrose Tan proposed an intriguing “thought experiment” on both the actions and motivations that define chivalry. The questions he poses may help us all to recognize the boundaries of chivalry – and remind us that no act of kindness or respect should ever be taken for granted.

Consider the following situation: A man and a woman approach a place where their paths intersect. At the intersection, they both stop momentarily. Perhaps they wish each other, “Good morning.” Then …

1. The man gives the woman passage first and bids her a safe journey if they have exchanged greetings. He then resumes his passage.
2. The woman does not stop, assuming her right to passage first. The man stops momentarily, having no choice, then resumes his passage after the woman passes.
3. The man resumes his passage first. The woman is momentarily taken aback but continues her journey.
4. The woman does not stop, assuming her right to passage first. Alas, the man does not intend to be forced to stop, and speeds up, narrowly passing the woman first. The woman is momentarily taken aback but continues her journey.

In which of these cases has chivalry not occurred?

Let’s see what the Compact Oxford English Dictionary of Current English says about chivalry: it is “courteous behaviour, especially that of a man towards women.” Now let’s see what it says about being courteous: it means to be “polite, respectful, and considerate.” Neither “being chivalrous” nor “being courteous towards a woman” is an act that does not involve deliberate choice.

The obvious answer to the question above is 3, and many will say 4. And there are many who will not think the same of 2. I say otherwise. Of course, 1 is a case in which chivalry has definitely prevailed, but can 2 truly be called chivalry, and is 4 definitely only the fault of the man?

The difference between 1 and 2 lies in the mentality of the party “expecting” chivalry in 2. Chivalry is a choice, but in 2 instead the man has been forced to accede to a particular outcome of the encounter, a farce of “chivalry”, and to accept the disrespect of being on the receiving end of bad manners. In 4 he has bravely stood up against it but will later on be castigated for his actions, somewhat unfairly.

I suspect what many of today’s women lament about, especially (some of) the highfalutin “educated elite” types who like to place themselves on a pedestal, on the lack of “chivalry” on the part of today’s men, are occurrences of case 4 rather than 3. But they have taken it for granted, and to lament about the lack of something when it is being taken for granted is to be pompous, conceited, arrogant and even presumptuous.

Lament about it when you have respected the other party and the right of choice, treated the other party with good intentions and he does not show chivalry to you. He may be crossing your path, but remember that you are crossing his too. Learn to respect others and you may stand the chance of having it reciprocated (which should be) and you might find yourself pleasantly in case 1.

But take another person’s courtesy for granted and you may find yourself rudely confronted with case 4 as retaliation for your self-aggrandizement and disrespect of others — assuming your “right” to a shared space, “just because”, as in cases 2 and 4. Chivalry does not mean someone else has to accept your lack of basic manners — this is the fine line, and you may only have yourself to blame if you choose to cross it and find yourself in case 4.

Finally I want to say that men should be chivalrous. But chivalrous because they want to be, not because others force them or want them to be. And women who demand chivalry? Chivalry is something that is given, not taken.

Chivalry is a two-way street, not one.

Ambrose Tan’s blog is Varnish Is Pretty. It Smells Bad, which is where this article was originally published.

Related posts:

1. Be Worthy of Chivalry
2. At the intersection of love and valor is …The Shieldmaiden
3. Putting Down Chivalry’s Baggage

Whenever I give a talk on the subject of chivalry, I can rest assured that, no matter what else the members of the audience may know about the topic, there are three words at the forefront of everyone’s mind: Chivalry is dead.

Somewhere along the line, we got it pounded into our heads that chivalry and equality could not co-exist. But I think the analysts and social commentators who told us that, didn’t have a thorough understanding of what chivalry really was. They saw an act of courtesy or deference and interpreted it as the result of a condescending attitude. What they missed was the respect and mutual admiration which such an act of chivalry conveys — if they had looked at chivalry from that angle, I suspect there never would have been any talk about its “death.”

Chivalry was created during the Middle Ages to combat the attitudes of brutality, ignorance and prejudice which were all-too-common in that era of darkness and cruelty. Far from being dead, chivalry today is embodied by people whose actions are always trustworthy and admirable; who understand that strength and gentleness are not opposites; and who know the importance of standing by one’s principles, no matter how tempting the compromise.

In fact, chivalry seems to be more alive today than ever. People everywhere are reevaluating the things that are important in their lives, and they’re rediscovering the virtues that the code of chivalry stands for — hope, kindness, respect, integrity and courage. They are discovering that they can still be inspired by a hero, and, best of all, they’re realizing that when chivalry and equality stand side-by-side, anybody can be a knight in shining armor.

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Happy Chivalrous Holidays!
The holidays should be a time for joy and sharing, but too often we get overwhelmed by stress and commitments during these hectic days. Yet it’s in moments of stress that the Knightly Virtues are most important; as this account reminds us, we should never allow the chivalrous spirit of generosity to be crushed by the distasteful actions of others. This true story (told to me several years ago by a returning holiday traveler) is a reminder that even the seemingly simple desire to bring happiness to others is sometimes hard-won.

Maintaining the virtue of generosity in the face of holiday stress

Maria Gonzales had flown home to spend time with her family. The week before Christmas was a busy one, but apart from shopping and cookie baking, Maria’s family had committed to a very special project. Her sister-in-law was the manager of a local second-hand shop, and they had promised to help with a gift-giving program which the store put on for needy local children.

To participate in the program, qualified parents had submitted wish lists of gifts their children hoped to receive on Christmas day. Then donors selected a child at random and “played Santa” by purchasing one or more gifts on the wish list, and delivering the items anonymously to the second-hand store. Parents were expected to return to the store on December 23 to pick up their gifts in time for Christmas, and lots of volunteer workers were needed to distribute wish-list gifts on that day. Ready to help those in need, Maria’s family looked forward to lots of bright holiday smiles and Christmas cheer — but those expectations couldn’t have been further from the truth.

On the morning of the 23rd the store was filled with eager volunteers. About half an hour before opening everybody was taking their places when one of the assistant managers cautioned the staff about the coming day. He said several fist-fights had broken out the year before. He also explained that the sheriff’s department had been alerted to the situation, and were standing by to be called out in case of a riot in the store.

Maria thought he was exaggerating until they unlocked the doors. In less than five minutes, the store was crammed with parents who had little holiday cheer and even less courtesy or patience. Several complained that their children’s wish lists — with expensive things like bicycles, computers and radio-controlled cars — had not been fulfilled. Many demanded to be given toys that they could see in the waiting area reserved for other children.

One belligerent mother cursed out a clerk who couldn’t find her son’s wish list; after some investigation, the clerk discovered that the woman had taken possession of her child’s gifts hours earlier and was simply trying to play upon the clerk’s confusion in order to collect a second batch of toys. Towards evening, a woman asked for her daughter’s toys, and when the clerk explained that they had been already picked up by the woman’s husband, the customer began to cry, explaining that her husband had taken the gifts (a CD player and a pair of skates) and sold them for money to buy drugs with.

Finally, just after 10 p.m., all the toys were gone and the doors were locked at last. The store was a mess, and the whole staff, many of whom had been working more than 12 hours, was exhausted and lacking in any type of holiday spirit.

Then, as Maria was sitting there wondering why she had wasted her day trying to spread joy and merriment to a conniving, ungrateful world, there was a soft knocking. Roused from her unpleasant thoughts, Maria looked up to see a woman standing outside the glass door.

Maria’s sister-in-law went to the door and said loudly, “I’m sorry. We’re closed. We have no more toys.”
The woman said something in reply, but Maria couldn’t hear. To her surprise, Maria’s sister-in-law unlocked the door and let the woman in. She was dressed in a light coat, and she stood rubbing her hands together for just a moment. Then the woman said, “I was here earlier to pick up the toys you provided for my two children. I saw what you were going through, and I thought you all might need to know that my family will have Christmas because of you. Two boys will remember that their parents love them on Christmas morning because of what you did today. Thank you, you should be very proud.” Then she turned and left and Maria’s sister-in-law closed the door behind her.

Maria realized she had been very selfish to expect cheer and gratitude in response to her work that day. Maria could not imagine one of the Knights of the Round Table pouting because there was no shower of rose petals at the end of the quest. Generosity must be freely given. An act of chivalry may have an effect on someone far away, or someone you never even noticed, and that is the best gift of all.

Maria and her family (and all the volunteers in the second-hand store) received a great lesson in chivalry that pre-Christmas day, and it came wrapped in curses and thanklessness.

Related posts:

1. A Little Lesson in Chivalry
2. A Knightly Christmas Gift
3. The Lion and the Otter

My next door neighbor, Tim, is a school teacher, which means that from June to August he gets to forsake his usual hectic schedule for one that involves nothing more stressful than puttering in his garage and watering the flowers along his sidewalk. I can see his front yard from my office, and I’ve noticed a certain ritual he observes during his summer vacation: Every Tuesday, when I hear the roar of the garbage-collection truck coming down the street, I see Tim walk out into his driveway and wait. As the truck pulls up, Tim waves to the driver and gives him a big, beaming smile, then turns around and walks back into the house.

Most people would probably consider a career as a trash truck driver to be the bottom rung on the ladder of humanity, but in reality, it is a noble and respectable profession. Imagine what our streets and homes would look (and smell) like if not for the trash truck drivers of the world. Everyone benefits from the service the garbage collector provides.

Do you tuck a little something extra in with your trash bill when the holidays come around? I know I do — I’ve always thought it was an easy way to let the trash truck driver know that I am grateful for what he does. But maybe it is a little bit too “easy.” Maybe I’ve overlooked the value of a smile, a wave and a word of thanks.

Gratitude is an important aspect of the knightly virtue of generosity. Tips, bonuses and other monetary rewards are wonderful, but they will never eclipse the need for personal, sincere, eye-to-eye expressions of appreciation and recognition. The people who perform the dirty, menial and distasteful jobs that keep our world clean, safe and functional need to hear someone say “thank you” from time to time.

Of course, I’ll continue to give holiday bonuses and generous tips for exceptional service, just as we all should, but whenever I see Tim out in his driveway, I’ll remember that there’s more to generosity and chivalry than just a dollar sign. A knight in shining armor should always wave to the trash man.

Related posts:

1. Knightly Trash Service
2. Chivalry on the Interstate
3. Elementary Justice

Often we can achieve a deeper understanding of something by examining its opposite. Our knowledge of the traditional “Seven Virtues,” for instance, is expanded by our awareness of the contrary “Seven Deadly Sins.”

This exploration-by-opposition also works for the Seven Knightly Virtues, and in my seminars on Chivalry Today, I often ask for volunteers to suggest the opposites of these chivalrous qualities. Apart from the usual antonyms, I’ve gotten some unexpected responses which highlight the complexity of the Code of Chivalry. Perhaps the following list could be considered the Seven Lesser-Known Knightly Sins:

Although the opposite of courage is often thought to be “cowardice” or “weakness,” a better choice is “bravado.” Interestingly, courage and bravado sometimes appear identical, but even the most courageous knight in shining armor knows that conflict is used only as a last resort. A bully, on the other hand, uses blusterous bravado to camouflage aggressive displays of egotism as bravery.

The obvious opposite of justice is “injustice,” but another contrary to this virtue is “opportunism.” While injustice is simply the lack of just deserts, an opportunist is one who pursues justice only when it’s in his or her best interest – which usually means only when it applies to someone else.

While “greed” is frequently seen as the opposite of generosity, another is “frivolousness.” Giving time, energy and money in a generous manner means choosing things that will be beneficial to others, not just squandering resources on needless gifts and wasteful endeavors.

“Cruelty” can certainly be the opposite of mercy, but so can “irresponsibility.” The soothing, healing quality of mercy can only be demonstrated by someone who is willing to take responsibility for the harm that careless actions and degrading words can cause others.

The opposite of faith is “falseness,” but the root of that vice can truly found in “selfishness.” Most lies are told out of self-interest, not out of sheer treachery. In order to be faithful, a knight in shining armor must recognize the harm which a broken promise can cause, and must be willing to make difficult personal sacrifices to honor his or her commitments.

While the true contrary of nobility is “baseness,” (a rather archaic term which conveys a mix of petty, ignorant attitudes) a more contemporary opposite is “vulgarity.” Even someone who has chivalrous motives can hardly be called a knight in shining armor if their language and actions are rude and offensive. A noble attitude demonstrates respect for others through courtesy and graciousness in all situations.

Finally, the opposite of hope is not “despair,” but rather “hate.” Despair can be overcome, but hate is the deliberate and calculated assumption that a person, or a group of people are completely and utterly beyond redemption.

Recognizing the opposites of the Seven Knightly Virtues not only helps us avoid unsavory attitudes and behaviors, but also brings a more thorough understanding of the Code of Chivalry. Which proves that (in keeping with the positive attitude of a knight in shining armor) even the Seven Knightly Sins have a purpose in the world.

Related posts:

1. The Seven Knightly Virtues
2. Chaucer’s Knightly Virtues
3. The Ring and the Knightly Virtues

Scholars of both literature and social history often dismiss the Code of Chivalry as “simplistic,” saying that the knightly legends of the Middle Ages lack the complexity and nuance that makes other cultures rich and fascinating. Arthurian legends and the historical knights who admired them have even been referred to in academic circles as “juvenile.”

Such criticism makes some people wonder why these legends have endured for so long. If knights in shining armor are so bland, why do they still live on in books and movies today?

Perhaps chivalry is a bit more complex than it’s given credit for — a premise which can be demonstrated in a comparison of two literary passages. The first comes from Eugen Herrigel’s book, Zen in the Art of Archery. Herrigel was a German philosopher who went to Japan in the first half of the 20th century to study the principles of Zen through the practice of Kyudo, the archery techniques of the samurai. His book, published in 1953, was one of the first serious attempts to help Western readers understand Eastern philosophy.

After months of work with the bow, Herrigel reports that he was pleased with his improving marksmanship. His teacher, however, wasn’t concerned with accuracy; he was concerned with tranquility. Herrigel says,

If ever the least flicker of satisfaction showed in my face the Master turned on me with unwonted fierceness. ‘What are you thinking of?’ he would cry. ‘You know already that you should not grieve over bad shots; learn now not to rejoice over the good ones. You must free yourself from the buffetings of pleasure and pain, and learn to rise above them in easy equanimity.’

Not long before Herrigel went to Japan, Howard Pyle wrote The Story of King Arthur and His Knights» . The book was published in 1902, and has long been regarded as children’s literature — a fun way to introduce kids to the romance and adventure of chivalry. Yet amid that bedtime reading, Pyle concealed some profound philosophical gems. Consider this passage about the principles of chivalry and duty:

When a man is a king among men, as was King Arthur, then is he of such a calm and equal temper that neither victory nor defeat may cause him to become either unduly exalted in his own opinion or so troubled in spirit as to become altogether cast down into despair. So if you would become like to King Arthur, then you shall take all your triumphs as he took victory, for you will not be turned aside from your final purpose by the great applause that many men may give you … He who is a true king of men, will not say to himself, ‘Lo! I am worthy to be crowned with laurels;’ but rather will he say to himself, ‘What more is there that I may do to make the world the better because of my endeavors?’

These are two observations from two cultures that reach a nearly identical conclusion: Satisfaction and doubt alike can be destructive if they distract us from our goals. It’s an elegant thought that can take a lifetime to really understand.

Zen philosophy is famous for concealing rich and deep truths behind a façade that is sparse and simplistic. In a similar but unique manner, chivalry conceals complex and rewarding truths behind a façade that is simple and idealistic. But Zen and the Code of Chivalry alike serve as reminders that simplicity and meaninglessness are not one in the same, and that (as the great Zen masters would remind us) the most profound wisdoms in the universe are best viewed through the eyes of a child.

Learn More About King Arthur and Chivalry:

Ask What Would King Arthur Do?

Joseph Campbell on Chivalry In Myth

Bring King Arthur Into Your Classroom

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1. Episode 9: Finding Camelot With Chivalry Today
2. Episode 22: Zombies, Time Travelers and King Arthur
3. Prince Caspian & Chivalry – Podcast 21

There was a knight, a most distinguished man …

So begins the description of the knight in Geoffrey Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales. Chaucer wrote about this unnamed knight in 1386, when he began work on what many scholars consider to be the first “novel” ever written. The description of the knight (and all the pilgrims who tell their stories in his book) comes from the Prologue.

Chaucer lived and wrote at a time when there were still real knights in shining armor riding into battle and jousting in tournaments. Because of this, his concept of knighthood and chivalry is far more realistic than later authors who were looking back to the Middle Ages with a romantic sense of whimsy. How does a medieval author characterize knighthood? Chaucer’s contemporary description of this knight sheds light on the true spirit of chivalry:

There was a knight, a most distinguished man
Who from the day on which he first began
To ride abroad had followed chivalry,
Truth, honor, generousness and courtesy.
He had done nobly in his sovereign’s war
And ridden into battle, no man more,
As well in Christian as in heathen places,
And ever honored for his noble graces …
He was of sovereign value in all eyes.
And though so much distinguished, he was wise
And in his bearing modest as a maid
He never yet a boorish thing had said
In all his life to any, come what might;
He was a true, a perfect gentle-knight.
Speaking of his equipment, he possessed
Fine horses, but he was not gaily dressed.
He wore a fustian tunic stained and dark
With smudges where his armour had left mark;
Just home from service, he had joined our ranks
To do his pilgrimage and render thanks.¹
 
In this brief description, Chaucer offers an examination of the values that, in his mind at least, make up the Code of Chivalry. When called upon to serve his kingdom, the knight performed his duty bravely and valiantly. Yet regardless of his successes and renown, the knight isn’t a braggart. He doesn’t flaunt his wealth to the people he is traveling with, and instead is generous and honest. And, having returned from arduous foreign service, he chose not to bask in his glory, but to make a pious journey as a show of gratitude.

Read a historical novel today — like James Patterson’s bestseller The Jester or Bernard Cornwell’s Heretic — and you’ll get a very different picture of a knight: gritty, callous, self-serving and often brutal. They are great books, based on real historical incidents, but modern authors write stories for readers that identify with “underdog” characters who go against the bonds of social custom. Chaucer reminds us that not all knights were hypocritical louts. The perfect gentle-knight of The Canterbury Tales is a fine example of Chivalry Today.

1. Taken from: The Canterbury Tales, trans. Nevill Coghill; New York, Penguin Books, 1951.

Related posts:

1. Re-Knighting Chaucer’s Knight
2. The Seven Knightly Virtues
3. True Nobility: Knightly Show & Inner Spirit – Part 2

All of a knight's virtues were symbolized by the equipment he used, and perhaps nothing was more symbolic than the knight's spurs. The spurs represented courage, and when a young man was knighted, it was sometimes said he had "won his spurs." (The spur pictured belonged to a German knight of the 16th century.)

Although we often refer to the “code of chivalry,” in truth, there was no such thing as a uniform code of knightly behavior and attitude in the Middle Ages. (And if you’ve read some version of a “true code of chivalry” on the Net or in a book somewhere, rest assured it was written sometime long after the Age of Chivalry was past.) Many people — from successful knights to contemplative philosophers — compiled lists of virtuous qualities, called the “knightly virtues,” which they felt defined chivalry. No two were exactly the same.

There were, however, several common themes found in these lists of knightly virtues. By combining these, we have created what we consider to be the seven knightly virtues of the modern code of chivalry:

• 
  Courage
  More than bravado or bluster, today’s knight in shining armor must have the courage of the heart necessary to undertake tasks which are difficult, tedious or unglamorous, and to graciously accept the sacrifices involved.
• 
  Justice
  A knight in shining armor holds him- or herself to the highest standard of behavior, and knows that “fudging” on the little rules weakens the fabric of society for everyone.
• 
  Mercy
  Words and attitudes can be painful weapons in the modern world, which is why a knight in shining armor exercises mercy in his or her dealings with others, creating a sense of peace and community, rather than engendering hostility and antagonism.
• 
  Generosity
  Sharing what’s valuable in life means not just giving away material goods, but also time, attention, wisdom and energy — the things that create a strong, rich and diverse community.
• 
  Faith
  In the code of chivalry, “faith” means trust and integrity, and a knight in shining armor is always faithful to his or her promises, no matter how big or small they may be.
• 
  Nobility
  Although this word is sometimes confused with “entitlement” or “snobbishness,” in the code of chivalry it conveys the importance of upholding one’s convictions at all times, especially when no one else is watching.
• 
  Hope
  More than just a safety net in times of tragedy, hope is present every day in a modern knight’s positive outlook and cheerful demeanor — the shining armor that shields him or her, and inspires people all around.

Each of these concepts is important in itself, and every one of these virtues is an admirable quality, but when all of them blend together in one person, we discover the value, and power, of chivalry today. Modern-day knights should strive to keep these virtues alive in their own hearts, but, perhaps more importantly, they should work to bring these wonderful qualities out in the people they see every day — at home, in the office, at school or on the street corner. A person who lives by the code of chivalry in today’s world allows everyone to see their best qualities reflected in his or her shining armor.

Related posts:

1. The Seven Knightly Sins
2. Chaucer’s Knightly Virtues
3. Introduction to Chivalry Today

Don’t be embarrassed, “chivalry” is a word not often heard today, and a lot of people really don’t know what it means. Let’s define the term before we go any further so nobody feels like the class dunce. Here’s what Webster’s Dictionary has to offer:

Chivalry:

• Gallantry, courtesy and honor.
• The noble qualities a knight was supposed to have, such as courage and a readiness to help the weak.
• The demonstration of any of these qualities.

That is a precise definition to be sure, but it does leave some unanswered questions. Let’s consider a different approach.

Illustration of a knighting ceremony taken from a 14th century manuscript.

From the Ten Commandments of the Bible, to The Eightfold Path of Zen, to All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten, people throughout history have searched for a way to define and quantify admirable behavior. The code of chivalry is, at its heart, simply a handbook for good conduct. But chivalry was not a mandate from the powerful to the downtrodden, nor a directive from the chosen unto the masses. It was a set of limitations which the strong and mighty placed upon themselves with the realization that setting a good example sends a message which is far more powerful than any words on paper.

Today, we’re not too different from those knights in the Middle Ages — we have a great deal of wealth and resources and freedom at our disposal, and we can use (or misuse) them in nearly any way we like.

Perhaps that’s why people are finding the concept of chivalry so relevant to modern life. Perhaps, like those knights in shining armor hundreds of years ago, we want to experience the satisfaction of knowing that we have championed the right causes and embraced the right principles, not because we were told to do so, but simply because we have chosen to follow that path.

In short, that’s what chivalry is — a choice. The choice to do the right things, for the right reasons, at the right times. And that’s a definition that even your social studies teacher probably would have approved of.

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3. A Shift In Chivalry

Recently, however, those ideas have changed. Current events and front-page headlines have made us all aware of how crucial ethical conduct and personal integrity are in creating a fair and functional society. New understandings of issues such as military ethics, political integrity, athletic scandals, gang violence, cheating in school and the workplace, road rage and corporate accountability — not to mention the simple desire to restore a sense of tolerance, discipline and fair play to the world at large — have brought the ideals of chivalry and honor to the level of a national debate like never before.

And people are realizing that anyone — men and women, teachers and coaches, students and soldiers, doctors and athletes — any one of us can be a knight in shining armor. And every one of us should be.

As part of the Chivalry Today program I have had the pleasure of helping thousands of people discover, through my articles, podcasts and seminars (as well as through this website), that chivalry is not dead. I have challenged people to consider how the Code of Chivalry and its Seven Knightly Virtues can be put to use in their lives each day. I have worked to demonstrate that chivalry can help us instill values in our children, that it can change the way we manage others and do business, that it can help establish goals and overcome challenges, and that it provides a strong and unshakable means to combat the terror that we have all had to confront in the wake of recent events.

In short, I have been able to show my audiences that the Code of Chivalry should not be entombed in history books and fairy tales.

Fortunately, I am not alone in this endeavor. Through this website, dozens of people have shared true stories of chivalry and the “knights in shining armor” who have inspired them. Others have offered insightful observations on virtue and knightly behavior, demonstrating the depth and complexity of Chivalry Today.

Whether you’re a first-time visitor or a regular guest, I hope that what you find broadens your understanding of the definition of chivalry and the knightly virtues. I am honored that you’ve chosen to spend your time at Chivalry Today.

— Scott Farrell

Related posts:

1. Chivalry: Yesterday and Today
2. Tragedy, Leadership and Chivalry
3. Tolkien and Chivalry Today